posted by Ripan
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Q&A about The All Indian Dada -"Sourav Ganuly"
Q. What's Rahul Dravid's latest statement about Dada?
A. "In the pavilion, first there's God and then there's Dada".
Q. What's Dada's favorite Engilsh movie?
A. Gone in 60 Seconds
Q. Whats Dada's favorite hindi movie?
A. AA Aab laut chalen.
Q. Whats Dada's favorite song?
A. Ek pal ka Jeena ?? Phir to hai jana (Kaho na pyar hai)
Q. Whats Dada's favorite food?
A. Maggie (offcourse?. He puts Maggie noodles in a pan before going to bat and he comes back just in time when it is ready)
Q. Dada teaching his daughter ABC?.
A A for Awkward bounce, B for Bowled, C for caught, D for Dadagiri ???.
Q. what is the similarity between 100 m race and Dada's innings?
A. Both take same time to complete.
Q. Easiest way to get Dada out?
A. just bowl to him ?. He will get out anyway.
Q. How can Dada score century in cricket?
A. By bowling 10 overs??.. he will give away 100 runs
Q. Which is the best team in the world?
A. India offcourse?? plays with 10 people ( dada cant bat, bowl or field) and still wins sometimes.
Q. What shud Dada do after retirement?
A. Become catching coach ?.. he offers best catches in the game of cricket.
Q. Why did Dada decide to donate his Bat?
A. He doesn't use it anyways.
Q. Who can beat Dada's record of 2 min at crease?
A. Dada himself if he can improve his running speed.
A. "In the pavilion, first there's God and then there's Dada".
Q. What's Dada's favorite Engilsh movie?
A. Gone in 60 Seconds
Q. Whats Dada's favorite hindi movie?
A. AA Aab laut chalen.
Q. Whats Dada's favorite song?
A. Ek pal ka Jeena ?? Phir to hai jana (Kaho na pyar hai)
Q. Whats Dada's favorite food?
A. Maggie (offcourse?. He puts Maggie noodles in a pan before going to bat and he comes back just in time when it is ready)
Q. Dada teaching his daughter ABC?.
A A for Awkward bounce, B for Bowled, C for caught, D for Dadagiri ???.
Q. what is the similarity between 100 m race and Dada's innings?
A. Both take same time to complete.
Q. Easiest way to get Dada out?
A. just bowl to him ?. He will get out anyway.
Q. How can Dada score century in cricket?
A. By bowling 10 overs??.. he will give away 100 runs
Q. Which is the best team in the world?
A. India offcourse?? plays with 10 people ( dada cant bat, bowl or field) and still wins sometimes.
Q. What shud Dada do after retirement?
A. Become catching coach ?.. he offers best catches in the game of cricket.
Q. Why did Dada decide to donate his Bat?
A. He doesn't use it anyways.
Q. Who can beat Dada's record of 2 min at crease?
A. Dada himself if he can improve his running speed.
WORDS WOMEN OFTEN USE
The Words:
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Send this to the friends(only men) you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Send this to the friends(only men) you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
Saturday, May 14, 2005
JOKES
Subject: Ouch!
"Ouch! It's too tight."
"Don't worry,sweetheart ! we'll try to do it slowly.Push it in ."
"Aah! I can't. It's painful."
"Ok,sweetheart, Let's get another..... WEDDING RING"
--------------------------------------------------------------
1. Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure "Give me a green one, please
---------------------------------------------------------------
2. Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, and ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column "Salary Expected:" He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: Yes
"Ouch! It's too tight."
"Don't worry,sweetheart ! we'll try to do it slowly.Push it in ."
"Aah! I can't. It's painful."
"Ok,sweetheart, Let's get another..... WEDDING RING"
--------------------------------------------------------------
1. Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure "Give me a green one, please
---------------------------------------------------------------
2. Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, and ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column "Salary Expected:" He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: Yes
Where is GOD?
Hi Friends,
This is pretty unique - don't ask me how they do it.
Place your mouse on the X below and drag to the O.
XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
So keep faith on him and
just wait and watch what he does for you.
Bye
Ripan
This is pretty unique - don't ask me how they do it.
Place your mouse on the X below and drag to the O.
XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
So keep faith on him and
just wait and watch what he does for you.
Bye
Ripan
Some Jokes
What are the three fastest ways of communication?
1. Telephone
2. Television
3. Tell-a-woman.
**********************************************
Duniya mein bewafaon ki kami nahin hai.
Ab suraj ko hi dekh lo-
Aata hai Usha ke saath,
Rehta hai Kiran ke saath,
Aur jaata hai Sandhya ke saath!
*********************************************
A mad dog is chasing a sardar. The sardar laughs while running. Know why?
He says mera to Airtel hai phir bhi Hutch ka network follow kar raha hai.
************************************************** ********
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple.
************************************************** ********
The positive thinking poem
Little birdy in the sky,
You look up and it shits in your eye.
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't fly.
**************************************************************
Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee
Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu?
Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00
**************************************************
Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends.
I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney.
***************************8
Sardar 2 Salesman, I Need Pink curtains for my computer.
Salesman Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.
Sardarji: Oye i have windows installed.
***********************
What do u call a fat woman waiting?
.
.
.
.
.
Moti-vaiting. (fat girl waiting)
*************************************
Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!
*******************************************************************************
What is the similarity between Mobile & Marriage?
Thode Din Aur Ruk Jata To Thoda Acha Model Mil Jaata!!1
********************************************************
Why does sardarji open his lunch box while Walking on the road?
To Check if he is going to wor k or Coming Back.
1. Telephone
2. Television
3. Tell-a-woman.
**********************************************
Duniya mein bewafaon ki kami nahin hai.
Ab suraj ko hi dekh lo-
Aata hai Usha ke saath,
Rehta hai Kiran ke saath,
Aur jaata hai Sandhya ke saath!
*********************************************
A mad dog is chasing a sardar. The sardar laughs while running. Know why?
He says mera to Airtel hai phir bhi Hutch ka network follow kar raha hai.
************************************************** ********
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple.
************************************************** ********
The positive thinking poem
Little birdy in the sky,
You look up and it shits in your eye.
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't fly.
**************************************************************
Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee
Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu?
Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00
**************************************************
Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends.
I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney.
***************************8
Sardar 2 Salesman, I Need Pink curtains for my computer.
Salesman Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.
Sardarji: Oye i have windows installed.
***********************
What do u call a fat woman waiting?
.
.
.
.
.
Moti-vaiting. (fat girl waiting)
*************************************
Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!
*******************************************************************************
What is the similarity between Mobile & Marriage?
Thode Din Aur Ruk Jata To Thoda Acha Model Mil Jaata!!1
********************************************************
Why does sardarji open his lunch box while Walking on the road?
To Check if he is going to wor k or Coming Back.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
20 CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA
You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!
ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.
FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Please comment on the post
ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.
FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Please comment on the post
Leave Letters.....2 Gud
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of Bangladesh & India...
1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
2. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
3. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
4. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
5. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
6. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
7. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
8. From H.A.L. Administration dept: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for
it, please grant me 10 days leave.
9. Actual letter written for application of leave:"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
11. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
12. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
13: A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both ! for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
2. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
3. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
4. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
5. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
6. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
7. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
8. From H.A.L. Administration dept: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for
it, please grant me 10 days leave.
9. Actual letter written for application of leave:"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
11. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
12. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
13: A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both ! for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post
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