Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Jokes: Cyanide & Others...
Cyanide Please!
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that." the husband said.
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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After waking up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
--------------------------------------------------
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that." the husband said.
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
------------------------------------------
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
-----------------------------------------
After waking up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"
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